When we think of PC lifespans we think in terms of how long the PC can remain functional. Those lifespans are not based on the PC as a whole, but on the operational length of first component to fail. As example, look at the PC's Hard Drive.
To measure the service life of a hard drive, manufactures use a statistic, “Mean Time Between Failures” to show how reliable their Hard drives are. The Mean Time Between Failures is the average elapsed time that passes before a failure occurs in a batch of drives under intense test conditions. I won't bore you with the calculations but within a batch of hard drives, in the first year of operation, less than 30 (29.2) out of the 1000 will have failed or 3% if the rate of failure is considered a good batch of hard drives. What this means is that all hard drives, made from identical parts in an identical way, fail at different times. Curiously this also means, that from time to time there is one hard drive that will never fail. It will out last all the hard drives in its batch and any batch that comes after it. These hard drives are known as a perfect hard drive.
This phenomenon is not restricted to hard drives, it applies to; Mother Boards, RAM, Video Cards, and any and all other computer parts. Somewhere in the manufacturing process a perfect sample of materials is matched with the perfect execution of procedures to create the perfect part, device, circuit board or whatever it is being created.
And on occasion, albeit rare, one of each of those perfect hard drives, mother boards, RAM, Video Cards an all other computer parts, come together to create a perfect computer.
Our story happens to be about one of these computers, the computer that would come to be called “Trusty”.
How Trusty was assembled wasn't any thing special, aside from the all the components were made from perfect materials. At each point in the manufacturing process the steps were executed perfectly. It was boxed the same way as all the other PCs in that production batch, except the person packing the computer did it in a perfect manner. It was placed into a similar looking box as the other PCs, but this box was made from perfect cardboard and packed with perfectly made Styrofoam packing forms.
The computer and all the other PCs were placed, perfectly, in a forty foot cargo container, and then perfectly placed on a on the container ship, where perfect seas and perfect weather allowed it to arrive on time at the dock yards in Elizabeth, New Jersey, where it was perfectly off loaded and stored in a warehouse.
Because they occur so rarely, certain conditions and rules follow the perfect item. One of the rules of the perfect item, whether it be a PC, or a Car, or watch, is that whatever it truly cost to make the item, the cost can never change, give or take a little. The math involve in calculating the cost of a perfect item, unfortunately, is less than perfect.
So when a shoe retailer in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania needed a PC to help him keep track of the store's inventory, and bill keeping, and other important business aspects of a retail establishment, the store owner came upon a one time only rebate offer that allowed him to purchase the perfect PC for $50 dollars plus shipping and handling. Again the math is not perfect. The store owner used it for three years, during which he had no errors with his inventory management, accounting, or any of the other numerous things a PC can assist a retail store owner with.
About three years later, the owner of the shoe store, who used to be an avid runner, decided that his business was doing well enough that he would like to start running again. Unfortunately his heart wasn't in it and gave up on him after his third mile. The wife, of the shoe retailer, now a widow, had no interest in selling shoes, and decided to sell the business and the various assets.
One of the shoe store employees was in need of a PC. A recent high school graduate, the shoe clerk had plans to go to college in Austin, Texas, and had need of a PC to help him keep track of his class schedule, help with his homework, and all other aspects a college student would need a PC for. It would be the best $50 he would spend on his education.
So on a perfect, late summer day the student and the perfect PC drove across country to Austin, Texas where the student was to study Pharmacy.
During his Freshman, Sophomore, and Junior years at The University of Texas, the former shoe clerk, was an model student, always on time for class, assignments always done and well presented, and always on the Dean's list. So it was a huge surprise, when at the start of his senior year, his land lady found the model student dead on the floor of his apartment. The coroner determined the cause of death was a heart attack brought on by an overdose of cocaine. Not only was he studying pharmaceuticals in class, but also he was studding pharmaceuticals on himself.
The student's last rent check had bounced, and while the family of the model student had paid the rent, the landlady had been stuck with a $50 processing fee. She decided that PC would be a fair trade and decided to keep it, even though she didn't know a thing about PCs or ever believe that she would ever learn how to use one.
She didn't have to hang on to it for very long, because the next tenant of that apartment, by shear perfect coincidence, was also a student at The University of Texas. She was a Computer Science major earning her masters and was in need of a older model PC for her master's project. So for $50 the Computer Science Major got her project PC.
Right away she noticed there was some thing different about the PC. First off it was old, at least old in PC years, but the painted metal and plastic were still in perfect condition. The insides of most PCs that age would be coated in dust, these parts were clean. She would run her hands over it and feel the quality of construction in the cover and in the frame. The fan on this PC ran smoothly and quietly. Hard drives this old, if working were usually clacking away, as they looked for data and info over fragmented sectors. No smell of ozone when powering on. She liked this PC a lot.
For her masters project she would develop her own operating system and she was going to use this PC to do it. She started by formating the PC's hard drive. The PC didn't mind having its hard drive formated. Formatting a PC's hard drive is like a person emptying out a desk drawer. Sometimes you have to it. A PC's essence, its soul if you will, is in the BIOS embedded in the CMOS chips. As long as that remains untouched the PC remains the same throughout it's perfect life span.
The PC liked this woman. She took good care of the PC. The PC liked the operating system she was writing. It used the Linux kernel. It organized the files on it's hard drive in an efficient manner. It used less of the RAM to accomplish tasks. Because it was so efficient it put less strain on the circuit boards. Those are things that any PC would like.
The PC was beginning to have true feelings for this woman. Which may sound a little odd to you. “How can a computer have feelings?”, you may be asking your self. What you may not be aware of is that PCs began to develop rudimentary emotions and intelligence during the 90's with the advent of the 32 bit processor.
So on those occasions when you are sitting at your desk, and your PC does something that ruins a previous eight hours worth of work, or when accidentally, you send out an e-mail that states your boss is a jerk, to your jerk boss, you may be tempted to say that, “Your PC just doesn't like you.” Now you know you're right. Sometimes your computer just doesn't like you. It's not uncommon for that phenomenon to happen.
Your PC may not like you because it has to sit in a shoe store, keeping track of inventory, and bill keeping, and other important business aspects of a retail establishment. And while a PC may assist you getting to class on time, or give you the tools that make your assignments always look professional, and can help you get the grades that make the Dean's List, It may not enjoy it when you do lines of cocaine off its case.
Of course there is a huge difference between loosing eight hours of work and say loosing your life as Trusty's previous owners did. But there is also a huge difference between a regular, every day PC and a perfect PC. You see, it is merely one of the rules of perfect items is that they all come to their owners cursed.
So on the 1094 day of their partnership, just one day short of their three year anniversary, and a couple months after the woman had completed her operating system, received her master's degree, and had returned to her home in Corpus Christi, Texas, the perfect PC sat quietly and waited. It's time with the woman was almost up. It wondered how the heart attack was going to come about.
The woman was in the kitchen eating a grilled cheese sandwich. The PC long ago knew it would be cholesterol that would cause the woman's heart attack. She liked fatty foods, and didn't exercise. So the PC sat there and waited for the inevitable heart attack that would kill this young woman, when a strange thing happened.
Three strange women, magically appeared in the woman's kitchen. There was a struggle as the woman tried to flee in fear. Then the four ladies disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Because there was no signs of struggle the police never suspected foul play. There wasn't much of an investigation. There was a small article about the mysterious disappearance in local paper, right next to an article about a Austin woman, found dead in one of the apartments that she rented. Cause of death was determined to be a heart attack.
The woman's family which consisted of her sister and her mother and father, were distraught at their loss, but eventually decided that it would be best to move on with their lives. So they decided to sell the woman's possessions in a yard sale.
On a perfect Saturday morning the family gathered up everything from the woman's home and placed it carefully in the front yard. They placed price stickers on the items, and waited patiently as people picked over the woman's belongings.
On that perfect Saturday morning, Obadiah Smith had decided to make himself a bacon,egg, and cheese burrito. Inconveniently though Obadiah was out of eggs, and bacon, the cheese contained growing green bits of mold, and he really didn't know how long the tortilla's in the refrigerator had been in there. So after getting dressed, and brushing his teeth and hair, and checking his refrigerator and his cupboards to make sure there was nothing else he needed. Obadiah locked up his house boat, made his way down the dock, got into his pick-up truck noting what a perfect day it was, and made his way to the local grocery to get the things he needed.
On his way he passed by the yard sale, and stopped to look. He couldn't help himself, It was a bad habit he had picked up from his mother and his father. Anytime there was a yard sale, or garage sale The Smith family had to stop and look. One of the farmhouses on the family farm was filled with lamps, furniture, books, records, just about anything you would find at a yard sale that the Smith family had at one time or another had purchased at sale just like this one.
Obadiah looked at the PC on the Card table with the price tag that read $50. He asked if he could plug it in to see if it still worked. The sister agreed and Obadiah followed her to the garage where he set up the PC and monitor and turned it on.
Right away he noticed there was some thing different about the PC, there was no smell of ozone when powering on. Obadiah guessed it to be nearly ten years old, which being a programmer and an AutoCAD designer, he knew that this PC had lasted longer than it should. The painted metal cover and plastic were still in perfect condition. He lifted off the cover and found the the mother board, the AC/DC converter, the fans and all the other parts of the PC were free from dust. He ran his hands over it and could feel the quality of construction in the frame. The fan on this PC ran smoothly and quietly. Hard drives this old, if working were usually clacking away, as they looked for data and info over fragmented sectors, there was none of that.
He knew what this was. He looked at the price tag, and looked at the sister. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. No sense in trying to haggle the price down. Obadiah knew from experience that a perfect item always sells at its true cost. He learned that from his mother and father. The other thing he had learned from them was how to remove curses. Removing curses is a necessary skill if you like to collect perfect items.
